Well . . .

This is awkward. We've just now realized that we can't actually tell you about everything we offer here at The Red Rainbow. Unfortunately we made this page before coming to that conclusion, and now you’re reading it, so we have to tell you something. Let’s see… the ground floor is open 24/7, where we have an eclectic selection of Restaurants & Recreation for you to enjoy. We have rooms available on LEVEL 1. The Theatre and The Cube of Conferrence are open to the ticket purchasing public on weekends for our tantalizing events, concerts, and conferences. As a substitute—cuz I know you're still curious—we've decided to let you read some speculations people have made about our more exclusive activities. Keep in mind that these have never been proven one hundred percent, and anyone who partakes in the VIP accommodations has to sign a piece of paper and go through a rigorous screening process before and after their stay. We're pretty tight lipped around here due to the sensitive matters we hold in the palms of our filthy rich hands. 

So, without further adieu, the speculations:

&G.T.to.Major.Bum speculates:

"The elevator works on anti-gravity. I know this for a fact. And I'm pretty sure every bed in the place is equipped with a "Half-Grav" setting so that when you go to sleep it feels like you're lying on a cloud."

&sky.high.lander speculates:

"I heard that they have a place where you can meet any historical figure you could ever want to meet. Like you sit there in this room and then that person literally walks in and talks to you. My friend Villy Bentriliquist works there and he says it’s so realistic you can’t even tell the difference. It's pretty neat. Seems way better than a stupid wax museum."

&fem-BOT-inist speculates:

"I heard there's a silent club. Which sounds boring, I know, but it's only technically silent… each person literally hears their own music. If you choose a common BPM you'll start to see the other people around you that are on the same track."

&Blaze-Runner speculates:

"I was an extra on Snowy Mountain Pass! Can't wait til that show’s on the air! Anyhow! I heard the bartenders are perfectly humanoid androids! Same goes for room service, the concierge, tour guides, you name it. They’re all freakin’ robots!"

&Liar-McFire-pants speculates:

"They have a room where you can [REDACTED]! These people let their patrons [REDACTED]! No respect for [REDACTED]! If they delete this comment, those of you who saw it will know that it's true!"

&adrenaline.and.a.junkie speculates:

"If you've got a neural implant and some crypto burning a billion dollar hole in your blockchain, you can buy a lifetime's supply of any psychedelic, time-travel, or inter-dimensional trip you could possibly image. It's all in your head and then Poof! Sober as a bird. Not to mention the all the skydiving, bungie jumping, shark chasing, scuba diving, mountain climbing, and dragon hunting you could possibly want as an added bonus!"

&Rollins:

“These people are idiots. If they had spent even a few minutes researching before speculating, they'd know which parts are true, which parts are false, and which parts are way cooler than they're describing. Sad.”

So there you have it!