The Goldminer's Crew

By Rick Dangerfield

“There ain’t nothin’ like the old west. Sure, you could die from just drinking water, or someone could shoot you for your horse, or worse, for that gold nugget burnin a $2 hole in your already holey britches. Obviously it was a terrible time for Native Americans, and people of African or Chinese descent. Also women… and children… But boy-o if you were an anglo-saxon-protestant male it was top teir fun. Of course, you might say, “Rick, how the f—k would you know? You weren’t alive in the mid-19th century!” And well, yes, you’ve got me there. But I come from a long line of cowboys who tell stories about their grandpappy’s pappy, and I’m a bit of a cowboy myself. Plus, I just got back from visiting the year 1849 at the VR Cafe, A Day In The Life, and let me tell you it was a gas. I mined for gold with some fellas by the name of The Buckeye Boys, ate beans for all three meals, got in a fight at the local saloon, was slapped by a hooker, won a shootout, and didn’t drink an ounce of water the entire time. To commemorate this experience I made a T-shirt for myself:

You can have one too if you want. I’ll leave some extras in the Gift Shop. And while you’re at it, maybe hitch your horse at BEEFCAKES in the Restaurants & Recreation area. I’m the manager, so tell em I send you and they’ll make sure to treat you right. As for me, I’ll be going back to the golden years, that’s for damn sure. They say whatever gold you mine in the VR translates to $Dogecoin$ in the real world. Ain’t that nice? I think so.
Til’ next time.

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RICK DANGERFIELD