Symbolic Significance
Let us begin by reading an e-mail I received 3 and a few years ago at exactly 11:11am on a Monday, followed by another one from twelve hours later:
Dear Charley,
I realize we don't know each other, but I thought you could give me advice regarding an experiment me and my friends conducted. It all started like this: One night I went to sleep and woke up seven and a half hours later feeling completely normal. But it was early. A little too early. I knew that something had to be wrong. I closed my eyes and the next thing I knew I was waking up five minutes later to the sound of The Ride of the Valkyries. (My Alarm Clock) It wasn't until brunch rolled around that I remembered what actually happened during those five minutes. So there I was, eating my peanut butter burger when all of a sudden I was downloaded with previously unknown information. In my dreamstate I had been kidnapped by a group of monk-like dinosaurs and teleported to their ship. They put me in a special holding cell and stood there looking at me like I was the crazy one. After a few minutes they started to chuckle, which was odd because they seemed so sinister and slithery. But, they removed their dinosaur masks to reveal the human faces they were hiding underneath. "We're just messin' with you man," one of them said. "Yea, we're just normal guys like you," another chimed in. They unlocked the door to my cell, and very generously invited me to an ice cream social with the other aliens. I ended up enjoying myself so much that I decided to stay aboard the ship for a while. A week or so to be exact. We mostly played video games, had pillow fights, and occasionally I would go to the surgeon general's office to be put under amnesia and probed. Standard procedure, nothing out of the ordinary. They just wanted to make sure that I was adapting well to my new environment. But, like all good things, my vacation had to come to an end. I told my buddies I had to go back to Earth because people would probably be wondering why I hadn't shown up to work in over a week. They conceded, and after doing our secret handshake and sharing fond memories I was put into an incubation pod and sent to Earth------or so I thought. Right before the pod materialized into thin air I saw my friend Zeda Ridiculous enter a different destination into the computer. I was pissed! I yelled out to him but nothing happened. All of a sudden I was waking up in bed and I didn't remember a thing. Until brunch obviously.
Can you help me with this?
Please and Thank You
-Tony from Vegas
I sympathized with Tony right away. I too have had many of these experiences, but seeing as he forgot to tell me about the experiment his friends conducted, I decided not to reply. If I wrote to all my fans I would never have time to commit to my passionate love affair with my girlfriend's husband's longboard. That's not a euphemism, I'm a seasoned long-boarder and overall board-sport enthusiast in my spare time. However, Tony realized his mistake and sent a follow up e-mail:
Dear Charley,
P. S. after re-reading my last message over a hundred times I noticed something was missing. I still have to tell you about the experiment. So, here goes.
Now that I had seen the aliens, I wanted to know if anyone else I knew had seen them as well. The first person I asked was Jenny, my friend with benefits. By that I mean medical insurance. After we slept together she told me that she too had met the "others" and had even put some of the same exotic toppings on her ice cream. Having heard my story she called her open minded girlfriend Natasha and told her to stop by for a threesome. When the trialogue was over we were certain that Natasha had met the "others" as well, but on a different ship. She said that their masks looked like the ones ancient Egyptians used to wear when they wanted to look like dogs. We spent the day discussing our various trips into the unknown, and around two thirty in the afternoon we decided to drive out to the desert and check out Area 69, the all ages laser tag arena I work at. While there I ran into my friend Neil wearing a dress. How that dress got on me I have no idea! HA! Okay. sorry. I'll shut up about it. We quickly went out back for a romp and discussed the aliens over a cigarette. Neil was into it, so we made a deal right then and there that the next time we were abducted we would all do our best to draw something from the beyond. If our drawings matched up in any way, we would know for sure that it was real. So here you go. Attached are four symbols that we recovered from the world of the aliens.
Please tell us we aren't losing our minds and that this is a real thing.
The Universe is Love.
-Tony from Vegas
Clearly Tony and his friends were morons. I couldn't believe I had even wasted my time reading the email. But, despite their inability to keep their pants on, there was indeed something to it. I haven't told them that, and probably never will, but alas. When I viewed the files he sent me, I immediately recognized them due to my extensive research on the subject. They're now filed in the Reil Island Semi-Public Archive, but I'll pull them up right here so you can see them.
Apparently Tony and his friends spilled wine all over them during a "conversation", so they aren’t exactly in mint condish, but go ahead and take a look. The world that these artifacts come from is strikingly similar to ours. The average human being has most likely visited it in their dreams without even knowing. It’s also been around for a f—king WHILE. For those of you who wish to push yourself towards the edge of what is commonly considered sanity, I invite you to join me for an in depth study of this document:
I will be discussing the non-terrestrial origins of this thing, what it says, when it was made, and why it pertains to the symbols you saw today. Not to mention how it got to be in our possession.
/ / / //
CHARLEY