Yep, They're Real.

“You see, way back in the beginning of time, before there were aliens and planets and stars and galaxies, the Universe was nothing more than pure existence and chaos. After doing that for a while, it decided it wanted to start becoming a person. One of the places it started doing just that was Planet Earth. There in fiery cauldrons under the great sea it grew from a single cell into a human being in what seemed to be mere matter of days but was actually a few billion years, much like the way you grew from a single cell, into a baby, and subsequently an adult before you knew it. In this way, you are like the universe, and the universe is like you. And now you are the universe looking out upon itself wondering whether or not there is anyone else out here with you. Of course it stands to reason that what happened here on Planet Earth could certainly have happened somewhere else. But the fact of the matter is, you don’t know for sure. You can’t quite seem to put your finger on it. But there is one thing you can know for sure, and it’s this: You are an alien. Your mom is an alien. Your grandma is an alien. Your cousin’s friend’s boyfriend’s pet cat’s grandma is an alien. Frogs and crickets and birds and snakes and flowers and trees are all aliens. We are, every single one of us, by virtue of being a living organism on a planet, “ALIENS,” and that is a cold hard fact you can hang your hat on. I wish I could tell you more definitively about the “extra-terrestrials” out there in space watching the proceedings of human evolution remotely from their comfy chairs in the Galactic Federation headquarters on Proxima B, but I’m not allowed to. I realize I baited you with my tag line a little bit. But don’t worry. You’ll find out soon enough.”

RICK DANGERFIELD
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